312: What You Seed Is What You Get
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315: Kimori no shin waza!!
Suika hatena no Tane Mashin Gan!
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May thrusts her boobs up into camera view in agreement after Ash agrees, and why not, it's hardly an Advanced Challenge... speaking of which!
POKEMON!
Yes you see Gentle Dodges, every trainer has a choice (even when you're standing on rocks sticking out of a turbulent ocean as a Rayquaza coils through the air) to listen to the voice inside (inside a dark room? Nah, inside an arena, Ash fighting alongside May in a dual battle!). I know the battle may be long; winners may have come and gone (Winners? Like a roaring Charizard and a zapping Pikachu as Ash runs by a Venusaur and Blastoise) I will carry on. Yeah, this dream will last forever (apparently the dream being Ash, Brock, May and Max running along the ground with their Pokemon) this dream will never die (apparently the dream also involves Pikachu wriggling about in Ash's crotch, golly). We will rise to meet the challenge every time (Whether that challenge be swirling about for May, or coming on to Joy and Jenny for Brock, or peeling Brock away from Jenny and Joy for Max). Yeah, this dream keeps us together (by together we mean Drew tossing flower petals at the screen and Team Rocket getting blasted off again) I know that you and I will be the best that the world's ever seen. Because we always will follow this dream.
POKEMON!
Welcome to Advanced Challenge, Gentle Dodgers, where....
And what you get is Team Rocket!
Yes, they're staggering through the forest, lamenting losing the twerps, and James is hungry and Meowth wants a nipple.... oops, nibble. But then they spot a field of watermelons, and the double-entendres come thick and fast..
"These things are as ripe and roly poly as they get!" grins James.
"I ain't neva been so happy to be wit sumfing so fruity" giggles Meowth.
Oh, poor James, he's been replaced!
Jesse calls for them to dive on in, and they follow suit, leaping up with melons in hand!
But despite the size of the melons Jesse is current holding on her chest, she wants more! When she spots a giant nearby melon she tosses her own aside (you definitely wouldn't, Gentle Dodgers) and prepares to grab it... and it starts rolling towards them!
Jesse is pleased, thinking it means to serve itself up to them, and she cries the words so many sad bastards have been desperately waiting to hear.
"Come to me you great big ball of juicy deliciousness!"
But it ain't a melon, it's an Electrode, and it rolls into them and sends them blasting off again, causing them to drop their melons.
Wow, James must have been REALLY scared!
The melons in question drop down towards the river, as downstream the twerps sit enjoying a lunch prepared by Brock, and then Max spots the melons floating down the river. Brock grabs one and says it is ripe and ready to eat, and eager Ash yells at Pikachu to use Iron Tail on it, only for May to grab it away from him and warn that this will destroy it... so it would be better if Brock's skilled fingers handled her melons.
Oh he'll be buying her stuff in Fall Arbor town all right!
With the melons cut up, the twerps chow down, Brock telling them to try watermelon with a little salt to make them sweeter, and then Ash spits out some seeds much to May's disgust. He apologises, then calls out Treecko and tells it to practise Bullet Seed Attack, so it can emulate the Shiftry's Bullet Seed attack that beat the shit out of it earlier. He gives a disgusting little boy's example of how to do it.
Treecko follows suit and seems to be getting the hang of it, using more force, working on aim and accuracy only for Bullet Seed to hit.... from somewhere else! A Grovyle leaps down in front of them, and when Ash checks it out he discovers it is the evolved form of Treecko, and it has been joined by a Slugma. Grovyle fires Bullet Seed again and the twerps try to run, but Slugma cuts them off with Flamethrower, and then a girl with a horrible green haircut shows up, accuses them of being thieves, chows down on some melon and spits seeds in front of Ash, May and Max's faces before declaring she is Natasha the Melon Master!
They insist the watermelons were floating down the river, but she doesn't believe it, demanding they confess. Ash insists he isn't making it up, and then in pops "a giant watermelon rolling around on its own" according to May, though Max notes it is in fact a painted Electrode.
Electrode shakes its head when Natasha accuses the twerps of being thieves and she comes across horrified and humiliated, begging forgiveness before demanding to know what the twerps think about her melons.
Well geez, they hardly know her.
She tells them she'll give them a tour of her melon patch, starts to lead them away, then screams that she has done it again, blushes and says she forgot to introduce herself. She tells them she is Natasha, they introduce themselves, and then she takes them to her unfenced, unsigned melon patch that she doesn't want anyone to steal melons from. Brock notes this is a lot of responsibility for one person (a fence and no trespassing sign would help!) and she says she loves it, and has her Pokemon to help her.
Yay, unpaid labour!
Ash compliments Natasha's Groyvle's Bullet Seed and she tells him that her Groyvle and Slugma have never lost a Double Battle, and Ash insists he is pretty good too, he made it to the top eight of the Johto League.
And took THREE FUCKING SEASONS TO DO IT!
So they set to for a fight, watched from the sidelines by May, Max and Pikachu while Brock officiates. Ash uses Treecko and Corphish, and Max figures Corphish was chosen to combat Slugma's Fire Type... but why a Treecko against a Groyvle? Well Brock figures it is because Ash wants Treecko to learn from its evolved form, which leads to May saying something you'd never expect to hear.
"Ash is always thinking ahead!"
Treecko uses Pound Attack on Groyvle and Corphish uses Bubblebeam on Slugma. Groyvle dodges and hits the Bubble Beam with Bullet Seed, then fires a Bullet Seed at Treecko as Slugma uses Ember on Corphish. Corphish uses Harden and Treecko hides behind it, and when the flames clear, Corphish claps its claws with wide eyes, perhaps not believing that move actually worked! Treecko leaps out and uses Quick Attack on Groyvle while Corphish tries a Crabhammer, but Groyvle dodges and hits Corphish with a Leafblade, then tries a combo Flamethrower/Leafblade. Once more Treecko hides behind Corphish, which is starting to sweat hard from taking so much damage.
Ash asks Corphish if it can keep battling and it thinks it can, and Natasha says things are just getting interesting as Ash notes that now he sees why she hasn't lost yet.
Hey Trainers, What's the best choice to battle Poliwrath? Combusken, Mudkip or Taillow? Ash says it is Taillow, but the correct answer is, "Your Mum."
Meanwhile Team Rocket are back at the melon patch, Jesse wanting to eat them all. But James notes the watching Watermelon Electrode is glaring at them, Jesse says she is willing to take the risk. But wait, Meowth has a better idea, give the Watermelons to the Boss, imagine what he'd say if they gave it to them! Well James can't, so Meowth provides the imagination for him, as we're treated to another Patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
"Okay picture dis! Da Boss is out on a mission out in da desert," explains Meowth as we see Giovanni in a pith helmet staring through binoculars as a nameless driver drives him through a forbidding desert, "He's tinking of building a new Team Rocket base in dat area.... but da desert's heat is getting tah be to much fer him, see! And just when he's going crazy from first, he sees the watermelons we perched their for him!"
"He slices one open," Meowth explains as we see Giovanni use HIS FUCKING HAND to slice up the melon, chow into the red meat and then spit out seeds to form a Team Rocket 'R' in the sand, "And he says, "I should reward Meowth and his friends for giving me dese fine watermelons!" HAHAHAHAHA!"
As Meowth finishes his fantasy with crazy, lunatic laughter, Jesse and James agree that this entire scenario is completely within the realms of probability, and start dancing with delight as the painted Electrode stares on in dismay and Meowth giggles that they owe it all to da melons!
Well, that's Hollywood for ya!
Back at the battle, Treecko uses... HARDEN!??! Well, it kind of looks more like Pound, but Ash calls it Harden. Corphish uses Bubblebeam as Groyvle dodges the "harden" hits Corphish with Leafblade. Natasha calls for a Bodyslam/Bulletseed Combo, so Ash tries the Harden/hide combo again, but Slugma lands on Corphish leaving Treecko unshielded, and it gets hit with Bullet Seed and knocked back. Both Pokemon struggle to their feet as Ash asks Treecko if it can continue, then tells Natasha he's going to show her a Combo of his own. Treecko grabs onto Corphish's claw and Corphish uses Crabhammer for a patented X-Men "Fastball Special"!
Treecko flies through the air and smashes right into Groyvle's fucking face with a Quick Attack! It staggers back and smashes into Slugma, and Natasha calls in panic for a Solar Beam. Groyvle starts to drag in Sunlight as Treecko and Corphish use the Harden/hide combo again, and the Solar Beam proceeds to smash right through Harden as Slugma fires a Flamethrower at Corphish. Exposed to attack, Corphish fires back with a Bubblebeam, the two attacks knock through each other and... both get knocked out!
It's down to one on one!
But before they can continue, Electrode shows up warning about Team Rocket (because it apparently can't roll into them this time) and Natasha rushes off followed by the twerps. They arrive at the watermelon patch to find Team Rocket inside a giant Cacnea-bot, collecting up large amounts of Watermelon, though they still make the time to hit us with the motto.
"Prepare for trouble we're here to poach melons!"
"Make it double, we're the watermelon felons!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket can pick melons at the speed of light!"
"Carrying them in baskets, we prepare to fight!"
"Meowth CAN BITE!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
The Cacnea-Bot eats a bunch of melons and spits seeds at the twerps, and Natasha calls for Groyvle to use Bullet Seed, Ash telling Treecko to watch and learn. It hits the bot with Bullet Seed but the Cacnea-Bot fires a rocket propelled..... bandaid..... at Groyvle, sealing up its mouth.
Ash tells Treecko it can do it, and after one failed attempt, it blasts the melons free of the Cacnea-Bot as the twerps and Natasha run around in a panic trying to capture the melons.
Pikachu blows up the Cacnea-Bot with a Thunderbolt, sending Team Rocket blasting off again!
"All of that hard work for nothing!" moans Jesse.
"So much for the fruit of our labour!" sighs James.
"Guess we're just stuck wit da fruit we already got," laments Meowth.
Hahaha, everybody KNOWS what James is.
With Team Rocket defeated, Ash and Natasha go back to battle. Treecko fails to use Bullet Seed again, then dodges a Leaf Blade and hits with a Pound before dodging another Bullet Seed with Quick Attack and knocking Groyvle down. Both are tired and almost down, Natasha knowing Groyvle doesn't have the strength for Solar Beam, so she orders Bullet Seed and Ash does the same. This time Treecko manages to pull it off, and they blast into each others attacks.... but finally Treecko's strength and inexperience cause it's attack to falter and stop, and it gets blasted down and Natasha wins!
Ash asks if it is okay and it seethes with anger, because goddammit, it means to be Clint Eastwood!
As the sun sets, the twerps sit and eat watermelons, Brock laughing nervously as Natasha compliments him on his cooking. Ash notes that Treecko is sitting off to the side and he and Pikachu go over to try and cheer it up, blowing seeds in the back of its head and causing a quick reaction.
The others congratulate Treecko on a perfect bullet seed as Ash moans that it was a perfect attack on HIM, and Treecko seems first alarmed, then pleased.
Because now it can kick ass in a whole new way!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Hang tough, Romeo!" "There's nothing like finding young love!""That's weird, I don't think I've ever been nervous in my life!" "Come to me you great big ball of juicy deliciousness!""Ash is always thinking ahead!""All thanks to the power of love!!"Power of love?You'll understand when you're older, Ash."
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